Modern orthodox jewish dating questions to ask about christian dating
What one needs from a shadchen varies depending on one’s age, she maintains, and a good matchmaker will adapt her approach to her client’s individual needs.For instance, a shadchen acting as an intermediary at the beginning of a relationship served Lily in her early 20s, but was less effective as she matured.A commonality amongst this group is that they are open to secular activities such as bars, clubs, and movies.These tend to be individuals who strive to maintain a lifestyle according to the rules and guidelines of Halacha (Jewish law); often this is reflected in greater involvement in daily Torah learning and prayer.The spiritual director at Montreal’s Chabad NDG and the Jewish chaplain at Concordia University, Rabbi Bernath founded JMatchmaking International, an online network of Jewish matchmakers.
In the corner of the religious community that Lily (who asked that we not use her real name) inhabits, which she identifies as “modern Orthodox/Yeshivish,” being set up through a matchmaker, or shadchen, is very common.
In some communities, a shadchen is hired by a synagogue to match its congregants; in other cases, they’re individuals – usually, but not exclusively, women – who take it on as volunteer work, viewing it as a mitzvah, or work for a volunteer organization like Toronto’s Sasson V Simcha Connections.
It’s standard, too, Lily says, for the matchmaker to serve as a go-between during a prospective couple’s initial dates.
Generally, an avoidance of the secular world is encouraged, and barriers are seen as critical to protecting against secular influences.
Such individuals embrace a Hasidic philosophy, which includes a commitment to the emotional/spiritual element of Torah observance.