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Additionally, as a matter of emotion rather than fact, I must say that the instant when one finds himself encompassed by traces of an offense as horrid as this is cataclysmic, is the moment when his emotions die trying to protect him from the truth.
Giving words to one’s encounter with an experience as subhuman as sexual abuse is to use one’s most civil and sincere tongue for a subhuman language — is to feel like an intelligent human being whose conversation has been reduced to a dog’s bark.
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And, additionally, because what became the last night I would ever spend with my father included his smile from a hospital bed when I showed him a DVD of Bill Cosby and Sidney Poitier’s Let’s Do it Again.
Cosby’s seeming detachment from a sense of responsibility or need for certainty when, in the infamous deposition, he describes sex with one of the accusers as living someplace “between permission and rejection” where he is “not stopped.” The admission of securing Quaaludes for sex with women when he knew they induced lethargy.
Truly, having only a percentage of those facts might have left me in the “so leave him alone!
However, you can set boundaries for what you will and will not accept.
If he’s not willing to honor your boundaries, you’ll need to decide if this relationship is worth continuing.