Dating guarded women

Opening up is a slow process for women like me -- but when we do, we're all in. When one man broke up with me and I laughed at him (not my proudest moment for sure), it wasn’t because I didn't feel anything -- conversely, by that time I was just so disappointed in our relationship that I expected nothing from him. Most of those emotions are catalogued in an OCD label-maker kind of organization, in which I distinguish specific emotions and when and how to show them.That kind of loyalty and vulnerability isn't given out casually. Some people have a natural comfort within their own skin and can let themselves go at any moment with any person.Second date: divulge that time at work when we felt mad and regretted it, and/or share a small token of pain from our childhood.Third date: there’s a small catch in our voices as we trade our biggest heartbreaks. And I need more than a few dates to make that connection with someone.I have to say, I’m pretty sick of everyone saying we should just let the love in, like we live in a fairytale land. He knew that any petty, non-committal, emotionally unavailable bullshit was not going to fly with me. I was not about to settle for some new POS who was willing to work for it. You do not have to work tirelessly in therapy to break down your natural inclination towards self-preservation in order to find a romantic partner. It’s not some sham behavior you use as an excuse to shut people out. A person who belongs in your life will stay outside the walls until you’re ready to open the gate. You get that for the most part, people are kind of terrible. He waited four months for me to agree to be exclusive. Stop letting people tell you it’s a cop-out for being scared. This has nothing to do with playing hard to get, games, or being coy. You understand that people are not to be trusted without earning it. If someone manages to get inside and open you up, you know they are the one worth softening for.If your name is in my phone, I talk to you, and make time for you, YOU MEAN SOMETHING TO ME.I just happen to be more comfortable high-fiving than holding hands.

It's not because I'm trying to be a cool girl, I'm not a bitch, and this is not an act.

All right, so there are some tough breaks in the dating world when you’re a little tougher, harder, or less emotional than the average girl.

But the best part of dating someone like me is enjoying a drama-free relationship.

at dating, per se; but I'm no stranger to the tradition's most basic expectations.

I show up to dates in a timely manner, dress my best, and do what I can to appear interested, charismatic, and friendly. Hell, I even read But I'm also not particularly emotional.

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