Dating again as a single parent

“At 16, I met him at home one day but didn’t want him there.

I actually greeted him and headed straight to my bedroom until the next day.” Ritah has never really adjusted to having him around their home and has never talked about it with anyone.

Because of the stigma surrounding single parents and myths I was believing at the time, my subconscious told me I would have more luck keeping my profile baby-free. On my first date after being pregnant, dumped and giving birth – when my self-esteem had hit rock bottom – I sat opposite a man who visibly quivered when I revealed I was a mum and compared my child to his ongoing battle with Crohn’s disease.

Just like anything on your profile – whether it be recent pictures, your height or your profession – honesty cuts out the potential for misunderstandings or, well, meeting narrow-minded fools.

As I grew older, I knew my mother was seeing someone,” Ritah narrates.Which leads on to…It’s so easy to fall into the trap of believing you have to explain how you came to be a single parent.In the early stages of dating, that’s really none of anyone’s business. Know anyone you meet will be lucky to get such a fabulous two, three or however-many-it-might-be-for-one deal.“If for instance they used to go shopping at Garden City, do it,” Odoi says. “The new partner should befriend the children and when this friendship grows and they are getting along very well, maybe they begin to call him daddy and this is when the mother should say she wants him to stay around,” Odoi adds. It is also important to understand that some of the dates could abuse the children so caution should be taken by the parent to ensure that the child is not abused in any way. When you’re a parent, things can feel even tougher.

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