Catholicism and dating
The question at hand is why women aren't getting asked out more often. It is important to remember that contemporary society is under a profound malaise, with everything good, pure, and holy coming under attack.One of the chief things under attack is the family, the home.In Christian women this can manifest in self-righteousness, or a kind of assumed moral superiority over men—often unconscious on their part. I understand that in today's world it can be imprudent and even downright dangerous for a woman to be too kind too soon to a man she doesn't know well, and even then there still is chance of betrayal. O'Leary said that traditionally it has always been up to the woman to control how far things went and how fast, and, if she liked him, still keep the man captivated.Men complain that they often feel around women that they cannot win, or say or do anything right. Perhaps women today may have good reasons for these attitudes, but they are very wounding to a man, especially to an interested man who is serious, sincere, and sensitive. The Sexual Revolution has ruined it for everyone as far as trust goes, but sarcasm and cynicism towards men have become epidemic in our society, and it has become so ingrained, so second-nature, that most women are not even conscious that they're being that way—but the men are. I said that in the confusion of the day that that was perhaps one more thing that was lost, or at least severely damaged.We all know that women have a need, especially in marriage, to be reassured that they are loved and cherished—they want to hear it.And a man who thinks that his love ought to be self-evident is thought to be rather obtuse in these matters." I responded, "Well, Dale, that's gone." She became very grave, "Really? but these are the little things we learned at our mother's knee...you mean you don't see women doing these little unspoken things, that interest a man? In fact, many men have come to think women don't even like men, because of the way women react to their initial overtures yet, the women wonder why men aren't asking them out, they're either not saying yes, or they're not sending the signals." Dale said, "Oh dear, this is serious, I have to talk to some of these women; something basic to our culture is being lost.
A modern woman might interpret this sort of thing as "game playing" but it is not.According to the encyclical of Pope Pius XI, Castii Connubbii, the wife can and ought to claim the primacy of love in the home, as the husband claims primacy of authority. So, far from playing games, the maintenance of this delicate and glorious dance between the sexes is all important, and often calls for special wisdom, the shrewdness of love, from the woman. O'Leary recommends a book called Fascinating Womanhood by Helen B. This book attempts to explain to women how men view love relationships, what they really want and need out of them.I have been reading this book and as a man I can say from what I've read so far she's exactly right.I can hear even some Christian women saying, "Well, he should get his strength from God!" This attitude, apart from being rather ungenerous, overlooks the facts of creation: that God did not say to Adam, "I'm all you need!