Black and white dating issues
Many Black men who only date White women typically treat them better because they have assumptions about them and respect them more, and if you show a woman great treatment and respect, she has no problem submitting.
These same men dated a few Black women but looked for the negative stereotypes in them, and thus did not respect them, and thus did not get the submission he wanted.
This perception that comes from slavery pushes the notion that White women are sweet and docile while Black women are wild, angry and uncontrollable. There are plenty of White women on the show who kill their men out of anger, rage and jealously. If someone treats you badly, aren’t you going to react?
Alternatively, have you ever seen a woman with a good man who loves and respects her? Think about the rage you feel living as a Black man in a country that has been and is systematically discriminating against and killing you and your community. If your woman caught you texting three other women after you were just telling her how much you love her and being with her, does that not warrant anger/attitude?
If you say “I don’t need a man,” remove it from your vocabulary immediately. Black women have the tenacity, intelligence and dedication to carry themselves and whole families on their backs, but that’s not how it’s supposed to be.
It’s true that some Black women have had to fill the shoes of Black men in cases where the men have been removed from our community due to mass incarceration, where the men have chosen not to fulfill their responsibilities as fathers, or where the woman’s level of financial success has scared away some men based on his insecurity.
Instead, show him the places you do need him, because love, affection, companionship and sex are things you likely still want from a man. Some Black women don’t want to say how they feel lonely without a man, how they feel, out of all their success, he’s the only thing truly missing, and how they want nothing more than to give all of their love to a Black man, because, often times, if a Black woman is vulnerable and honest about those feelings, she’s called desperate by Black men. Also, while a woman shouldn’t pursue a man purely for his money, if you really want to be a provider and contribute financially to her life, you can’t turn around and get mad when an independent woman asks you to pay a bill just because “she got it.” The idea that a White woman knows how to submit and let a man lead, while a Black woman does not, is both contentious and false. Will Black women submit in the same speed and to the same type of Black men as a White woman? There’s an expectation that every man should be the leader, and his woman should submit to him.The problem with this concept is two-fold: Anyone can be angry, even non-Black women. You want respect and to be spoken to like a man, but make sure you’re giving the Black woman that same respect back.However, rooted in a white supremacy structure, White women are always assigned presumed innocence and purity, and it’s that very innocence that has gotten Black men wrongfully imprisoned or killed. Yes, but this comes from being a double minority; it comes from being oppressed not only by White people, but by the only other person you’d hope would understand oppression and not inflict it upon you, but does so anyway based on gender: the Black man. However, if a Black woman does get an attitude with you, ask yourself: Why? If you don’t, don’t expect bad behavior to be met with kind words and non-reaction.Understand that you can’t try to run a man or a relationship, or you will end up just running him away.Doing something your man asks of you does not make you weak or powerless; it means you’re able to follow and compromise, which is something Black men want and need.