About me dating
My brother and my sister have suffered from some sort of crippling anxiety and I wouldn’t be surprised if more people I haven’t asked are going through or have been through something similar.
At 30 I joined dating apps and was bulldozed by new anxious thoughts freshly baked by the reality of dating.
I developed an insecurity about my height, questioned my level of general attractiveness and battled a strange wave of anxious thoughts born from being ghosted, rejected and receiving responses that were two days late.
My initial experience of dating was a feeling of inadequacy, like I wasn’t good enough for the type of person I wanted.
I recall a time, possibly when I was 14 or 15 when I used to avoid looking at myself in the mirror because I didn’t like the person reality insisted on sending back to me, to this day I don’t completely understand why.
Which in it’s own way caused me to use dating apps even more than I needed to.
Everyone gets anxious about something, some more than others and about almost anything you can think of.
Their weight, their jobs, their face, their knees, their height, if anyone heard that fart that squeaked it’s way out and so on.
That runaway epiphany mobile hit me again and I realized nothing was going to change unless I made movements in my life to make things better, working harder, knowing that mistakes are there to be learnt from and thanking my chocolate stars that I at least have a pair of healthy arms and legs in order to do that.
Whatever I didn’t like I worked to change and whatever I couldn’t change I learned to accept and live with.